Things that have happened since my last note that deserve time, but I am listing them instead:

1. Sam died

2. Tyler and I hung out and had that "momentous" conversation

3. Sam's Memorial, amazing and beautiful

4. Tyler and Matt meeting

5. Daniela visiting for a week

6. Tyler and Daniela discovering their friendship

7. Christmas with the family and Matt

8. Matt giving me the gift of travel (to New York!), and boadway for christmas.

9. issues at work... Lara always has to stir things up a little

10. more issues at work.... just let it rest!!

11. Liz and Christi visiting

12. Amazing girls night

13. fabulous meals galore!!! Tuna steaks, persimmon cake, dim sum, blueberry pancakes, lamb, ham, and all sorts of tasty treats.

14. did I mention Matt is sending me to New York?

15. Snow, rain, snow, rain, snow.

16. house to myself for to weeks

17. contentment and happiness.

I have been dreaming about a house and a little boy in moments. I do not dream long stories, as I usually do, just moments of life.

In this house there is a sunroom that separates the main house from the outside. In this sunroom are benches, coats, mussy boots, a broom, a rug or two, and several hats. Matt and I are in the sun room laughing while putting on hats and mittens and boots to walk out into the snow. It is sunny outside, but cold. There is a little boy with curly hair in the room as well that is laughing with us.

In this house is a kitchen with piles of dishes that I am washing in hot water with lots of suds. I am smiling, tired, but smiling. At the table to my right is the little boy eating pancakes and Matt pouring orange juice.

In this house is a door that leads to a farm. On the farm is a barn filled with horses, ducks, chickens, cows, and goats.

Moments.

I am debating telling Matt all of these dreams, but if he finds the house in my dreams while he is searching for one up here I will insist that he buys it.

He is searching. He wants one, this year. I need to admit to myself, and to him, that I want it very much.